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by Rabbi E. Tauger
Av
A Month
Where Bitterness Becomes Transformed to Joy
Our Sages relate: "When Av enters,
we reduce our joy." Now that is not exactly a happy message
with which to start a month. One might say: "How can one react
otherwise?" The month of Av contains the fast of Tishah BeAv
which commemorates the destruction of the Temple. What are we expected
to feel on such a day and in such a month? Our Sages say: Whoever
does not see the Temple rebuilt in his lifetime, should consider
it as if it was destroyed in his lifetime. Thus the destruction
of the Temple is like an open wound, causing grief and agony. Is
it any wonder that our Sages state that we should reduce our joy?
Caught in a Paradox
On the other hand, sadness is not answer.
Reb Shlomo of Karlin would say that there is one thing that is not
a sin, but is worse than all other sins: sadness. No where in the
Torah does it say that a person is not allowed to be sad. But what
happens when a person becomes sad? He thinks only of himself. He
runs back and forth with one thought on his mind: What can I do
to become happy again? He doesn't care about anyone else or about
G-d, he just wants his mood to change.
But when confronting a tragedy like the destruction of the Temple,
how can you be anything else but sad. Moreover, G-d did not destroy
the Temple without reason. Instead, it was our sins that motivated
Him to do so. Thus we are responsible for its destruction. So why
shouldn't we feel sad? Is there any way that we can look at the
awesome of our nation's fall, take responsibility for our conduct
and yet, feel any other emotion?
Getting Out of the Web of Sadness
There are, however, two different types
of pain. The first lets the pain and grief dominate the person.
It's almost like he is taking pleasure in the pain. Obviously, it
hurts, but instead of taking his mind off the hurt, he is focusing
his attention on it and since the hurt is immense, it overcomes
him and takes control of his thoughts.
The person allows this to happen. He has the choice to put his mind
elsewhere and think about other things so that he will not be caught
up in the pain, but he chooses not to. Instead, he lets the pain
take control of him. And then he's caught. He wants it to end. He
is desperately looking for happiness, but he cannot appreciate any
happiness, because he is caught up in his pain. That's the trick
of sadness: to make you self-conscious and search for satisfaction,
but to prevent you for experiencing those positive feelings.
There is an alternative. You can simply focus your attention elsewhere.
Let's take a very common situation. You come home from work fuming.
Something happened at the office to tick you off and then on the
train, you had a particularly distasteful encounter. You're fuse
is short and ready to blow. Your spouse and your kids see this and
keep their distance.
Suddenly, the phone rings. It's a close friend with whom you haven't
spoken for a long time. He's got good news. The conversation shifts
to other topics and you speak for a half an hour. After you hang
up, the tension is gone. You can look objectively at the things
that got you so upset and decide either to forget about them or
to try to correct them.
Let's analyze this dynamic. Is there any difference in the situation
before the telephone call or afterwards? Absolutely not. The only
difference is that immediately afterwards, you were caught up in
the situation. It dominated your mind and you did not know how to
respond. Afterwards, you were able to move away and get some perspective.
When you accomplished that, it didn't hurt that bad.
Bitterness vs. Sadness
There is a little bit of a problem in the
above approach. Basically, what we are saying is: Avoid the issue.
Control your thoughts and don't focus them on subjects that will
cause you aggravation. Instead, focus on the positive. Think about
what you have to do and what you should accomplish and set about
doing that.
By and large, that's a positive approach, but it has several drawbacks.
Particularly when the painful situation comes as a result of one's
own actions, focusing his mind elsewhere alone will not be effective,
because then he will repeat the same mistakes. The person must face
himself, realize his errors, and feel the pain. When a person hurts,
he knows he has to change.
Here feeling bad leads to growth. It's a prod, pushing him forward,
making him do things differently.
Chassidic thought explains that this type of feeling bad is not
the same type of sadness we spoke about before. It uses a different
term, merirus, bitterness, to describe it.
What's the difference between the two? A person who is sad is busy
thinking about how bad it was. A person who is bitter is thinking:
What can I do to correct the situation? How can I prevent it from
ever happening again?
Working Toward Change
T
For bitterness to be effective, a person must exercise the mind-control
spoken about above and prevent depressing thoughts from entering
his mind. This matter cannot be left to spontaneity. For if he faces
negative feelings whenever they encroach upon his mind, they will
overcome him and haunt him the entire day. Instead, he has to face
them when he is in control. For personal growth always involves
mastery one's feelings, using the mind to guide his development.
That does not happen spontaneously.
Instead, a person has to retain a positive attitude most of the
time. And then at times that he set aside previously, he must confront
himself and examine where he erred and why disturbing situations
arose. He must feel the pain and use that pain to proceed toward
growth and health.
Facing Tishah BeAv
The same concepts that apply on an individual
level are relevant with regard to the tragedies that affect our
nation as a whole. At some time - and what better time than the
anniversary of the Temple's destruction - we have to set time out
to contemplate the awesomeness of the tragedy and our responsibility
for it. That's why we reduce our joy in the month of Av.
On the other hand, we are not consumed by negative feelings. Instead,
our efforts must be focused on correcting the faults that led to
the Temple's destruction. For example, our Sages explain that the
Temple was destroyed because of unwarranted hatred and so we must
show unwarranted love.
Most importantly, we must conceive of the end of exile, not as an
abstract goal to be fulfilled in the far off future, but a purpose
that can be realized and which affects our lives in the here-and-now.
In this vein, our Sages tell us that Tishah BeAv is the birthday
of Mashiach, i.e., a day where his potential shines with powerful
strength. When that goal is before our eyes, everything looks different.
The pain and suffering of exile are bearable for one feels that
the Redemption is imminent.
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Telling
Tales
The chassidim of the Rebbe,
Reb Yisrael of Ruzhin would make every effort to avoid sadness.
On Tishah BeAv, because of the somber nature of the day, they would
engage in various pranks and antics to prevent the depression and
mourning from overcoming them. With this intent, some of the chassidim
hurried to the synagogue on Tishah BeAv morning and positioned a
lasso and a hoist at the entrance. After a number of chassidim entered,
they prepared to lift up the next person who arrived feet first
to the synagogue's rafters. There he would hang to his colleagues'
amusement.
That year, Reb Yisrael came to the synagogue somewhat earlier than
expected. His followers, already anxiously waiting for a victim
to appear, did not look to see whose footsteps approached the synagogue.
As the Rebbe entered, they quickly began pulling on the rope. The
lasso tightened around his feet and he was hoisted upward. The chassidim
began to laugh, but then they realized that the victim was none
other than their master. Overcome by fear, they let loose the rope,
causing the Rebbe to fall head first to the floor. Unable to restrain
themselves, they all broke out in roaring laughter.
Reb Yisrael picked himself up and proceeded to the holy ark. He
opened it and spoke to his Creator: "G-d, it appears that Your
children do not know how to celebrate Your holiday. So take it away
from them."
Once the saint, Reb Shlomo Karliner, came
to visit his colleague, Reb Shneur Zalman of Liadi, before Tishah
BeAv. His travel plans were delayed and he spent the fast in Liadi,
with Reb Shneur Zalman.
Now some of Reb Shneur Zalman's chassidim also engaged in pranks
on Tishah BeAv to relieve somewhat the somber atmosphere of the
day. Reb Shlomo pointed to one of them and said: "It is because
of young men like this that the Temple was destroyed."
Later in the day, the two sages were walking together in the forest.
They heard bitter weeping; one of the chassidim was tearing out
his heart in tears. Reb Shlomo commented: "Because of young
men like this the Temple will be rebuilt."
Reb Shneur Zalman took him to the side where, unbeknownst, he could
see the face of the chassid. It was the same person that Reb Shlomo
had censured severely the night before.
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Torah
readings of the month
Parshas Mattos-Maasei
This week's Torah reading combines
two parshiyos. Both share a connection to the present month. Parshos
Mattos centers on the war the Jews waged against the nation of Midian.
According to our Rabbis, Midian is identified with strife and friction.
As mentioned above, our Sages relate that the Temple was destroyed
because of unwarranted hatred, friction that had no purpose or goal.
Now is a time when we must declare war against Midian and try to
wipe out any source for such negative feelings. And that is accomplished
most effectively by emphasizing the positive, highlighting the essential
feelings of love and closeness that bind our people together.
Parshas Maasei describes the borders of Eretz Yisrael, our Holy
Land, and relates how it should be divided. This also relates to
the present month, for it emphasizes that exile is an unnatural
situation; it is not our true home.
This also provides an answer for us in the present day. For it emphasizes
that our right to the Holy Land is not because we once lived there
or the other nations consented to our dwelling there, but because
G-d gave the land to us.
Parshas Devarim
This week's Torah reading begins:
"These are the words that Moshe spoke to the entire Jewish
people." Noting the distinction between this book and the previous
four, which are all "the word of G- d," our Sages explain
that Moshe recited the Book of Deuteronomy "on his own initiative."
This does not mean that the Book of Deuteronomy is merely a mortal
invention. Our Rabbis immediately clarify that Moshe delivered his
words "inspired by the Holy Spirit." Indeed, Moshe's identification
with G-dliness was so great that when he states: "I will grant
the rain of your land in its season," he speaks in the first
person although the pro
noun "I" clearly refers to G-d. "The Divine Presence
spoke from his mouth."
In microcosm, this same process happens whenever a person studies
the Torah. He or she or not making their own statements, they are
relating G-d's word and thinking His thoughts.
Parshas VaEschanan
This Torah reading begins with
Moshe's appeal to enter Eretz Yisrael. Our Rabbis ask: "Why
did Moshe want to enter Eretz Yisrael? To see its sites. To taste
its fruit." And they answer that Moshe wanted to enter Israel
so that he could fulfill the mitzvos. The observance of the majority
of the mitzvos is dependent on the land of Israel. Moshe wanted
to enter the land so that he could perform these acts.
Now Moshe had spoken face with G-d. How could observing the mitzvos
bring him any higher?
Because the observance of the mitzvos elevates a person beyond the
mortal realm entirely. The word mitzvah relates to the word tzavta,
meaning "connection." When a person performs a mitzvah,
he establishes a bond of connection with G-d.
Parshas Eikev
There are commentaries who
explain that explain that the word eikev, the name of this Torah
reading, refers to "The End of Days" - when the ultimate
reward for observance of the Torah and its mitzvos will blossom.
This prompts a question: Since the mitzvos are G-dly, how can any
material benefit possibly serve as fair recompense?
The answer to this question has its source in our Sages' statement:
"The reward for a mitzvah is the mitzvah." The fundamental
reward for observance is the connection to G-d which such observance
establishes.
The rewards of health, success, and material well-being mentioned
by the Torah are merely catalysts, making possible our observance.
For when a person commits himself to observe the Torah and its mitzvos,
G-d shapes his environment to encourage that observance. These benefits
of observance, however, are not ends in themselves, but merely help
men reach their ultimate goal: the service of G-d.
Parshas Reeh
This Torah reading is also
connected to the theme of the month for it mentions centralizing
the sacrificial worship of our people, bring all their offerings
to "the place where G-d causes His name to rest."
Using this term highlights the purpose of the Temple. There G-d's
presence was overtly apparent. Three times a year, at the pilgrimage
festivals, our entire people would experience the Divine.
This is what we are missing in exile and why we are looking forward
to the Redemption. Yes, at present we face difficulties and then,
we will live amidst peace and abundance. But our motivation for
Redemption should not focus on these side factors, but instead,
be inspired by a yearning for the era when "the entire world
will be filled with the knowledge of G-d."
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Dates of the Month
Rosh Chodesh Menachem-Av
- The yahrzeit of Aaron, the High Priest.
Menachem-Av 5 - the yahrzeit of the Ari zal, Rabbi Isaac
Luria, the mystic luminary who revitalized our understanding
of the Kabbalah.
Shabbos Chazon - The Shabbos preceding Tishah BeAv. Literally
the name means "the Shabbos of vision." Rav Levi Yitzchak of
Berditchev interprets this name to mean that on this Shabbos,
each of us is granted a vision of the Third Temple.
Tishah BeAv - The fast commemorating the destruction
of the Temple and other tragedies in our people's national history.
Shabbos Nachamu - The Shabbos following Tishah BeAv,
"the Shabbos of comfort."
This day is also Menachem-Av 15 - The date of which the
Mishnah states: "There were never such great festivals
for the Jewish people as the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur. "
Menachem-Av 20 - the yahrzeit of the Rebbe's father,
Rebbe Levi Yitzchak.
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